Katherine Phelps, owner of  VKOOS DESIGN, is an interior designer with a zest for life that translates into the happy spaces she creates for her clients. She also married Josh only a few years ago, so I asked her for some insights into the sometimes tricky task of merging his and hers, especially when HIS includes some “interesting” things. Let me share her thoughts…

JM: When my husband and I bought our first home and he pulled out his head candle with an arrow through the head, I didn’t know what to do! How do I not hurt his feelings, yet keep that thing out of my house?

Katherine: Josh didn’t have much, but for some of his weirder accessories, I suggested that we both put our personal favorites into our private office space where we would be able to enjoy them most…and others wouldn’t see as often.

JM: That’s what I ended up doing! And then a few years later, when we made room for our first baby, the head candle was donated – a safety issue with a new baby, you know. Can you share a few more tips that might help with the process?

Katherine: If there is an item you can’t agree on, then you have to compromise. A good way to approach this is to have the piece refinished, or reupholstered, or have the picture turned into a black-and-white, or turn that weird accessory into a lamp or repurposed into a funky vase. Think outside the box.

Let him know it is okay to be eclectic. Some men get the idea that everything has to match in style and color. Also, I find that letting him make the big picture design decisions, like picking out all of the architectural features of the room – crown molding style, hardware on the doors, etc – he won’t be as interested in the rest of the details.

One of the special things that you can do for your spouse during this sometimes difficult design time is gather up all of HIS favorite family and youth photos, enlarge them, frame them, and give them as a gift to your spouse. Tell him that these will be given a place of honor in the house, like the entry hall or stairway wall.

As much as our homes are our sanctuaries away from the rest of the world, you both need to be happy with your mutual spaces. Compromise. And remember that all of these things can always be changed or replaced, but your friendship and love is what will fill your home with the most happiness and beauty.

Built in close up (below): Katherine and her husband, Josh, live in a Cape Cod cottage-style home, so she tried to stay true to that architecture. This close-up shows two built-in bookcases flanking their red brick fireplace. She has mixed their items together in an artful display. The two birds, bronze horse, and dog plate are Katherine’s; the antique Cow bell from Switzerland is Josh’s; and the books are theirs.

Chairs close-up (below): The second picture shows a small area in their living room. The two chairs were chosen by the couple. “I had picked out all of the furniture pieces and custom fabrics and then made a presentation to Josh. He liked all of the fabrics that I had chosen for our sofa and two chairs. I let him choose the leather for our oversized ottoman in the middle of the room. Also, the reading light was Josh’s, so I incorporated that in between the two sitting chairs.” The paint color in the background is Wedgewood gray, an historical color from Benjamin Moore. They both love it.

Well said. Katherine’s favorite sources for inspiration and resources are Domino Magazine and The Nest.  If you live in the Bay Area, you might want to hire her to help you and your spouse find a merged sense of style.   She breathes new life and personality into every space she encounters. – JM

Learn more about Katherine Phelps and her company VKOOS DESIGN at www.VkoosDesign.com

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Jodi Murphy
Jodi Murphy is a contributing writer for Gentry Magazine and Gentry Design writing the At Home Column, Kitchen and Bath Department and feature Interior Design stories.